Loves Long Journey
by Falcon Horus
Summary: Carson was gone, but now he's back and though everything has changed, some things are still the same.


Author's Notes: Written for the 2008 edition of SG Rare Pairings on LiveJournal. Title and beta by the ever wonderful triciabyrne1978.

Warnings/Spoilers: Critical Mass, Lifeline, Doppelganger, The Kindred I & II, Search & Rescue and it all goes AU from there since I killed Kanaan.

Written For: altyronsmaker

Prompt:  
Three Things You Want To See: A trip to the mainland, post-tumor bomb so Carson's dead but now there's CLONE!Carson, Teyla's 'great sadness' and Carson's way of alleviating it.  
Three Things You Do NOT Want To See: I can't think of anything bad this prompt will inspire, so go with the flow - no holds barred.

* * *

The sky turned red as the sun sank into the ocean. A breeze came in from the sea and played with the leaves of the many trees. The puddle jumper stood in the midst of a clearing, members of the expedition and a few Athosians exiting and disappearing in all directions. Carson stepped out onto the grass and took a deep breath. Behind him Rodney and Radek were bickering about who was going to take readings and who was going to operate their newest gadget. He shook his head and rolled his eyes as Rodney tried to outsmart Radek, and lost. He turned and tried to inform them he was leaving but noticed it was better to just let them discover he was no longer there.

Carson wandered down to the Athosian village. It had been a while since he had been anywhere near it. Last time he remembered was even before he was kidnapped by Michael. He shook his head and mentally corrected himself that he hadn't been kidnapped but was a clone of the real Carson. It sent a shiver down his back just thinking about it.  
He was greeted by several Athosians he remembered from his time in captivity. He smiled, seeing them happy and amongst family and friends. Some had returned to New Athos, but most had stayed, fearing that they would end up in the Wraith-hybrid's captivity again. Atlantis, at least, offered them some sort of shelter if anything should happen.

Carson noticed Halling near a fire and stepped up next to him. Jinto sat across from them, finishing off a bird's wing.

"Evening." Halling turned and smiled, while Jinto held up his hand in greeting. "How are you?"

"We are good. Thank you for asking." Halling turned his attention back to the fire.

"Good." Carson nodded.

He remained standing near the fire until he caught a glimpse of Teyla walking out of a nearby tent. She was alone, and a little hunched over. He excused himself and followed her to the well in the center of the village. She struggled with the buckets and he immediately shot forward to help her carry them.

"Here, let me." He picked one bucket from the ground and let Teyla carry the other.

"Thank you." She smiled but it didn't reach, not by a long shot.

"How have you been?" Carson continued, feeling that an awkward silence was bound to settle between them if he didn't talk.

"Okay." Teyla replied, though didn't look at him, keeping her eyes trained in front of her.

"And Torren?" Carson held the doorway open so Teyla could enter without too much struggle.

"Good."

"Good." Carson sat the bucket down in the indicated place. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced around the tent, feeling the awkward silence return at full speed. He noticed Torren asleep at the other end, and made his way over. He dared to adjust the blanket a little. The baby stirred and he feared he had just woken him up from his nap.

"Do not worry, he is a sound sleeper." Teyla appeared at his side, holding out a bowl of soup and a piece of bread. Carson was surprised at the offer of dinner, knowing his friend's reputation in the kitchen. He vividly remembered Charin's words when she told Teyla what she thought of her attempt at tuttleroot soup. "I practiced." She had seen his hesitation, and he blushed.

"Sorry." Carson turned and sat down at the table in the middle of the tent. He tasted carefully, and was surprised to find the soup to be delicious. "Mmm... It's good." He nodded.

"Thank you." Teyla sat down opposite from him and started eating too. She looked tired, but Carson didn't say anything as he concentrated on his bowl.

"Thank you for the soup." Carson said as he pushed the bowl away. "It was delicious." His words felt distant. He felt awkward, and so did she, he was sure of it.

"Thank you for the company." Teyla cleared the table and returned with a plate filled with Athosian honey cookies. "Jinto made them. Halling informed me they are delicious."

"Then I'll just have to try one." Carson picked a cookie from the plate and popped it into his mouth. "Halling is right." He smiled.

For a while there was nothing but silence between them as they nibbled on several cookies. Torren stirred a few times but it seemed he wasn't planning on waking up any time soon as it was just false alarm every time.

"I am sorry." Teyla started again.

Carson blinked confused. "Sorry?" He echoed.

"When you died..." She continued, keeping her eyes from meeting his. "Kanaan was there for me." Carson slowly nodded. "I am sorry."

Carson fiddled with his jacket before he stretched his hands out and covered Teyla's on the table. "Kanaan was a good man." He meant it, even though finding out she was having his child had stung a little.

"And then we lost Elizabeth, and Kate." Teyla shook her head. "I was lost."

Rodney had told him of the losses. Carson had mourned them, like he had mourned his own loss. He debated his actions and then he got up, rounded the table and pulled Teyla up from her chair.

"I was gone." He started. "But now I have returned and while I'm not him, I'm a fairly good copy." He smiled, noticing a little glimmer appear in her eyes. He had learned rather quickly that joking about it sometimes helped break tension. Though he was quite sure that if Kate were still alive she'd tell him it was his coping mechanism at play. "Kanaan gave his life for you, and for his son." Carson wished he had been there. He might have been able to prevent the loss of the man who had looked after Teyla when his original had died. It would have hurt him, but falling in love with Teyla had not exactly been something he had planned on doing when coming to Atlantis. "Maybe, if you let me, I can be there for you, like I was before."

"I would like that." Teyla nodded, briefly glancing at Torren. "I have missed you." She stepped into his inviting arms, resting her head against his chest. Carson sighed deeply, the warmth of her body against his made his heart flutter.


End file.
